Goodbye to Daddy
by Dyna Dee
Summary: After hearing the news that her father has gone, Heero's daughter reflects on her parents' lives and what went wrong. Heero-Relena; Heero-Duo


_Author's note: This had been in my files for several years, near the bottom of the barrel, I'm afraid. Instead of deleting it, I decided to dust it off and post it, just so you'll know I haven't disappeared altogether. It's not much, and I'm not even very fond of this one-shot, but it's something, and I hope you gain some pleasure from reading it._

**Goodbye to Daddy  
Dyna Dee**

**Warnings:** Unhappy Heero and Relena, hints of Heero and Duo relationship

_From the viewpoint of Alana Peacecraft-Yuy, presently a mature fourteen year old girl._

In one heartbreaking moment everything became clear to me, all the pieces of the puzzle fit. I tuned Mother out as she began a stream of insults aimed at Daddy and Uncle Duo. Not only did I not want to hear what she was saying, but I was already thinking back to the beginning, or at least as far back as I can remember.

My Dad has always been the most important person in my life. He's handsome, more so than most of the other dads I've met, and my friends think he's hot, for an older guy, that is. Regardless of his good looks, he's always been kind of quiet and doesn't like to be the center of attention or to have his picture taken. I once heard my teacher describe him to another parent as being reserved, though I've always thought of him as being strong and smart. I didn't notice, until I was a bit older, that Daddy often seemed sad, though he tried to hid it. Once I even asked him about that, but he dismissed my question with a shrug and told me he was just thinking. Mother told me, when I asked her about why he was sad, that Daddy is haunted by his past.

You see, Daddy used to be a gundam pilot and my mother was once the Queen of the Earth Sphere. Neither of my parents talked much about the past, at least not to my brother and I. I do know that they met during the war and married young, just before Mother turned nineteen. They had a massive wedding that was televised and watched by most of the people on Earth and space colonies. There's a recording of the full ceremony and part of the reception in the video library, and I've even seen parts of it on the Wedding Channel. It really must have been something to be there in person, with all the pomp and ceremony, the media and crowds of well wishers. All of my uncles, who were also gundam pilots, were there as well as world and colony leaders. Mother recalls it as a memorable day, a celebration that marked an era of peace and prosperity that people from everywhere and every walk of life would be talking about for many years to come.

A little over a year after their marriage, my brother Zephrum was born. I came along a little over a year later. Daddy told us the day he learned mother was pregnant with each of us, he counted that moment as one of the happiest in his life. Zeph and I knew we were both wanted and loved.

While they were teenagers, my famous parents were embroiled in two wars, everyone knows that, but they both admitted to never really knowing what it was like to be normal children. Hearing their stories, so different from each other's, that's easy to believe. They were married when they were nineteen and by twenty one they were the parents of two children, and once again the center of media attention. Even after having two babies they weren't given the luxury of a rest from cameras nor politicians.

When I was close to six months old, Mother decided was offered a position by the government, a visible but low ranked job at first. She told me she had been excited about embarking on a career that would soon raise her to levels in the government that would afford her an opportunity to promote her deceased family's ideals of pacifism. Uncle Duo says total pacifism is a bunch of idealistic crock. But every time he says something of that sort he quickly leans over and whispers into my ear not to repeat that to my Mom or she won't let him come visit us anymore.

After Mother began working, Daddy quit his job as an agent in the Preventer Organization in order to stay at home with Zeph and I. He once told me that he wasn't comfortable with the idea of giving the responsibility of raising his children to other people. Mother, apparently, agreed with him quitting his job, accepting Daddy's argument that one of them should stay home with us, to insure our well being. Years later, I heard Mother explain to Aunt Lucretia, whom we affectionately call Luca, short for Lucretia, why Daddy was the one to quit his job. Daddy's work with the Preventers, she explained, might have been important, but it wasn't as influential in the political arena as her position in the government. I don't remember my aunt agreeing with her, but I do remember how she rolled her eyes when Mother turned away. At the time, I thought her response was funny.

When we were old enough to understand, Mother explained to Zeph and I that her work was very important and that she couldn't always be with us. It was a sacrifice our family needed to make for continued peace. If I've heard that line once, I've heard it a thousand times. It was the reason she gave for never being at the events that were important to me. I tried to understand, I really did, but somehow I just couldn't bring myself to believe anyone needed her more than out family did.

In the long run, we survived her absences and eventually got used to them, mainly because Daddy was always present for the important times in our lives. He was there when Zeph and I cut our first teeth, took a first step and spoke our first words. I know this because we've got the home movies and photographs he'd taken of every childhood milestone. He was present for all the important days we had.

Mother and Daddy often had opposite ideas on how to raise us. For one, our home is a very large and beautiful estate that Mother says is part of our inheritance, being Peacecrafts. Mother says being born a Peacecraft brings privileges that are a part of our social standing. Those privileges included money, servants, the best clothing and toys as well as maids and chauffeurs.

Daddy says that we're also his children and that material things aren't important. He believes that a person's actions and deeds speak more loudly of one's character than what they wear, the house they live in or the car they own. In fact, it's his belief that money can ruin a person unless they're firmly grounded in what's important in life. Daddy did his best to teach us what Uncle Duo calls _The Golden Rule_, to treat others as you would have them treat you. He's taught us that with the wealth we were born to comes the responsibility to help others, and that we should always do what we can to help those who are less fortunate, to always be kind and to follow an honest heart. I asked him once if that's why Mother was never at home, if she was helping the less fortunate. I clearly recall the odd smile he gave me as he answered, Yes, she was trying to help. Despite his attempt to smile when he said that, I remember that he looked sad, and at the time I didn't know why.

Another thing we learned from Daddy was how to work. Much to the Maids' and Mother's disapproval, he assigned Zeph and I chores, to teach us that work has its own rewards. He worked right along side us, saying that working as a team builds unity, which was something he'd learned as a gundam pilot.

He didn't buy us fancy toys or expensive clothes, much to Mother's dismay, but he did provide us with blue jeans and simple T-shirts to wear when were weren't in school uniforms or dressed for some social function Mother insisted we attend on a regular basis.

It wasn't until I began attending school that I first realized Mother was away from home more than anyone else's mom. She wasn't there for the parents' meetings, conferences with the teachers or the many field trips Zeph and I went on. No one said anything about that, of course, most likely they didn't even notice her absence because my Dad was always there. He went to every event Mother missed and he was a frequent volunteer at school.

I was seven when I first began to notice other families, and how different my parents were compared to them. I began to question some of my school friends and they told me their parents liked to go out together, leaving them with babysitters. My parents rarely went out together and the only babysitter we'd had had been one of our uncles. I also learned that other kids's moms tucked them in at night and read them stories. When I told them my dad did that, they asked if my parents were divorced. I actually curled my fist, just like Uncle Duo showed me, and punched Damien Driscoll in the stomach for saying such a horrid thing.

Daddy was called to the office the day I hit Damien, to talk to the principal about my behavior. As he drove me home I asked if he ever felt sad because mother was never home. He just smiled and told me that Zeph and I made everything worth while.

I believed him.

On my last day of elementary school we had a ceremony marking our advancement to the next level. My famous Dad was asked to stand before the students, their parents and our teachers and speak to them, to impart some words of wisdom gained from his own unique life. I'll never forget that day or how he stood in front of the gathering looking so handsome and composed, and then he turned his eyes to look down at me where I sat with my fellow students. Those eyes, that could easily send people scurrying away, softened, and to my surprise they began to water. To the attentive audience he said that of all the things he'd done, from overcoming the hardships of his childhood and all the battles he'd fought as a gundam pilot and obstacles he'd overcome during the wars, being the father of two wonderful children was the one accomplishment he was truly proud of. He smiled at me then and added that I was the most wonderful daughter a man could ever have and that he was proud of me. That was all he had to say, and then he sat down.

By the smattering of applause, I guessed the audience was disappointed Daddy hadn't said anything more about his past or life with my famous Mother. Everyone, of course, knows something about his life as a gundam pilot, and I think the school's administrator was hoping he'd give us some further insight into what it was like being a child soldier. She was probably thinking he'd expound on historical events, such as what transpired on that memorable moment in history when he saved the planet after blasting that large portion of the space fortress Libra while falling backwards in Wing Zero towards the Earth's atmosphere. It's a story Uncle Duo likes to tell, so I know it very well.

Unlike the parents and teachers who were noticeably disappointed that day by Daddy's lack of speech, I thought his carefully chosen words were wonderful. I smiled for days afterwards because of the way he made me feel.

It was during the next two years that things began to dramatically chang, and I began to realize something was definitely wrong with my parents' marriage, maybe because I was becoming more observant and interested in boys. For as long back as I can remember, whenever Mother came home from being away, she always brought gifts for Zeph and I, wonderful souvenirs from far away places. With each homecoming Daddy made sure that bouquets of Mother's favorite flowers were set about the house to welcome her home. She'd smile and give him a polite thank you in return for his thoughtfulness, and sometimes gave him a kiss on the cheek. It wasn't until I turned twelve that I realized Mother seemed irritated by the flowers, and that Daddy, more often than not, left the room when she began to take out the gifts she'd brought home for me and my brother. I suddenly realized that Daddy didn't receive any gift from her, and that he hadn't for a long time. Between that revelation and their aloof behavior towards each other, I knew something was seriously wrong.

Shortly after becoming realizing the crack in their marriage, I began to pay more attention to them, trying to figure out what other things in their relationship seemed wrong. Between the two of them, it was easier to watch my Dad for changes in his behavior because he was always there, our at-home parent. I first noticed that Daddy's gift of flowers to Mother were no longer offered when she arrived home from her long trips away, nor, apparently, were they missed, for she never said a word about their absence. I also realized that there was an underlying air of sadness about Daddy. I don't know when Daddy first became unhappy, but it made my heart ache just to know he was unhappy. I tried my best to be cheerful and helpful, doing my chores and homework without being asked in order to win his approval, but his smile never brightened to the level it used to. My worrying over the situation grew.

In contrast to Daddy's barely hidden sadness, Mother seemed unusually cheerful, breezing into the house with tales and gifts from exotic and exciting places around the world. With great enthusiasm, she took me and Zeph shopping as she excitedly told him of the school she would be sending him to in the fall of the next school year. Daddy stayed home during those excursions, excusing himself by saying Zeph and I needed to spend time with our Mother since she was away so often. I wondered at the time if my parents spent any time at all with each other, but Mother's shopping sprees proved to be a great distraction, helping me forget my concerns for a while.

Thinking back now, I can remember only a few times during the last couple of years that I saw any amount of true happiness on my Dad's face. Those rare smiles came to the surface when Uncle Duo came to visit us from his home on Colony L2. I call him my crazy uncle because he has this insane enthusiasm for life, and that enthusiasm is ridiculously contagious.

I've always adored my uncle and his long, brown braid. I even grew my own dark-brown hair out just to copy his style. Although it's something he likes to tease me about, I can tell by the way he smiles at me that he's flattered. He is absolutely the most gorgeous man I've ever seen, well, next to my father, and I've often wondered why he's never married. Once every year he shows up on our doorstep for a three-week visit.

As I grew older and somewhat more observant, I came to realize that Uncle Duo is a lot like my Dad. There's an air of sadness about him also, especially when I catch him staring at my Dad. I've wondered what caused the both of them to be so sad and could only assume it was their memories of the wars they'd fought in together when they were not much older than me and Zeph. Being together, I thought, must bring back bad memories, but that didn't make sense either because Daddy always seemed happier when Uncle Duo was around. He smiled more, and his eyes would light up when he laughed at my uncle's lame jokes. But when the inevitable end of the three weeks came, and Uncle Duo prepared to return to his home, Daddy would withdraw into himself and become sad once more, saying very little to anyone for days after.

Last year, during Uncle Duo's visit and after Zeph and I were supposed to be in bed, I went downstairs to get a late-night snack because my stomach wouldn't stop growling. I passed the entertainment room and glanced through the open door to see my uncle and dad sitting together on the sofa, the backs of their heads to me as they watched the television. They sat shoulder to shoulder on one end of the sofa, speaking in low voices to each other. As I watched, Uncle Duo tilted his head to the side until it came to rest on my Dad's shoulder. I thought at the time that they must both be sad together and how wonderful it was that they understood each other so well. As I stood silently in the doorway, watching them for a moment, I saw Daddy's head also tilt to the side, coming to rest upon the top of Uncle Duo's head, and I smiled. I was glad my Dad had a good friend he could turn to.

Unlike the rest of us, Mother didn't seem to like our uncle, so Zeph and I learned fairly young not to speak to her about his visits. Uncle Duo always came when Mother was away and he talked and played with us like Daddy did. When he was away from us, back on L2, he wrote us newsy, encouraging and joke-filled letters, sent regular goofy emails and thoughtful presents on our birthdays and at Christmas. In many ways he is a part of our family, a positive influence and role model, so it's not too surprising that he's earned the same loyalty and affection that Zeph and I have for our Dad. We love him.

Each time Uncle Duo leaves us for his home, he gives us each a hug and then kisses our cheeks and admonishes Zeph and I to be good, to study hard and not forget that he's crazy about us. He always saves his last goodbye for Daddy, and for some reason that hug lasts much longer than ours. Maybe because I'm older now, and because I was really studying my Dad, I noticed both his and Duo's eyes were teary as they said their final goodbye to each other, and I wondered at the time if they were going to cry; but they never did.

Our house feels so empty each time Uncle Duo left us for his home on L2. Daddy was always his saddest for days after his departure. I was sure his sadness came from not being able to be with his closest friend for another year.

It was after my uncle's last visit that I noticed Mother and Daddy no longer touched each other. They weren't obvious about it, but I still noticed. Daddy no longer received the customary kiss on the cheek nor the hug that Zeph and I got when she left for the office or an extended trip, nor when she returned home. They never held hands, nor did they stand or sit next to each other anymore. I added this information to what I'd been observing and my worry for our family increased. It was after Zeph left for school in England a year ago that I couldn't help but see that Daddy seemed to grow older and sadder.

So, for the past year it's mainly been just me and Daddy at home, and I did my best to lift his spirits and to make him happy, but school, activities and girlfriends often took my attention away from him, not to mention Aidan Fredericks, the cute boy in my math class. Then the school year finally came to an end, I found myself caught up in Mother's enthusiasm as she took up the chore of getting me ready for boarding school this coming fall. I failed to notice during this time how withdrawn Daddy had become, that he'd become quieter than before and that his sadness weighed heavily on him.

Then this morning, one week before I'm to leave for school in England, I entered the kitchen for breakfast and was surprised to find Mother there, dressed for work in her usual smart two-piece suit, sitting at the table with a dazed look on her face and a handwritten note held limply in her hand.

Unused to her being home in the morning, much less in the kitchen, I asked her what was the matter and where was Daddy? He always greets me in the morning and makes my breakfast. Mother's eyes rose slowly to meet my own and she had this strange expression on her face. She turned back to the letter and began to read in a strained voice the words that were written on the page.

_Relena,_

_Now that the children are older and off to school, there's no reason for me to remain here. I'm thirty five years old yet I feel like an old man. If I go now, it might not be too late for me to have the love I've always longed for._

She continued to read his letter even as tears began fill my eyes. I tried hard to swallow down the sorrow I felt from hearing just how unhappy Daddy had really been and that he'd stayed here only because Zeph and I needed him.

All I could think about was how lonely he must have been. I tried to dredge up some anger at him for leaving, but I just couldn't. Any anger I had was aimed at the woman sitting at the kitchen table, looking so out of place in our home. I tuned in again to her voice, noting the anger in her tone as she continued to read the rest of the letter.

_I'm going to L2, to Duo, if he'll still have me. I cheated the both of us out of the love we'd once shared for my sadly mistaken belief that marriage to you was the correct path to follow in finding happiness. Our marriage, Relena, as you'll probably agree, was a mistake from the beginning. The only good thing to come of it has been our children, and I'll always be grateful to you for them. I hope that if either Zeph or Alana need me for anything, they won't hesitate to contact me. Please tell them I love them, that my leaving has nothing to do with them and that they were always, and will continue to be, a source of great joy in my life. Be happy, Relena, and let us both get on with the rest of our lives. My lawyer will contact yours before the week is out, regarding joint custody of the children and dissolution of our marriage._

_Heero_

The message was pretty clear; not only was my Daddy gone, but he was gone for good.

As she finished reading the letter, Mother looked up at me again and I could see her eyes glimmering with unshed tears, though not tears of sorrow, I realized, but of anger. "How dare he do this to me," she hissed through gritted teeth. "This will be a public scandal that will haunt me for years to come."

I shut myself off of her tirade after she began to express disgust for Daddy and Uncle Duo, claiming my uncle had always been out to lure Daddy away from her. I'm only fourteen, but I know who's at fault here and it wasn't either of those two men she's in such a rage over. I scoop the letter off the floor after Mother threw it there in her fit of anger, and carefully re-fold and carry it with me out of the kitchen and up to my room. I'm going to email Zeph and tell him what's happened. After that, I'll be sending Uncle Duo an email, telling both he and my Dad I understand and that I love them both. With any luck, Zeph and I will be spending our Christmas holiday on L2.

**The End**

Note: Whew! If you made it this far, you get a virtual soft, warm and gooey chocolate chip cookie from me. No calories but a scrumptious idea. ^_^ Thanks for reading.


End file.
